02 Aug “I’m here to mind you” is the most powerful Jedi Parenting move we need
When a child is upset or unsure, a simple “I’m here to mind you” is the most powerful Jedi Parenting move we need
1. It stops us rambling on and trying to explain something, that probably doesn’t need to be explained. Children generally know the things they ‘shouldn’t do’. We know from neuroscience and the brain development of children that children do not have the sophisticated thinking patterns that would make life much easier and for them not to do thing like…grab, punch, cry, scream, hit, kick, spit, throw (please add your own…)
2. It stops parents doing and saying things they may regret later.
3. It lets us use difficult emotions and behaviour as a time of learning for the child. It slows things down. Then we can have the “oh I see what you were trying to do” or “yes that is frustrating” etc.
4. It opens us parents to deeper empathy and validating of our children. This builds secure and resilient children. It lets them know they are worth listening to.
5. It lets the child know that whatever they do or think we are here for them. In an increasing world of anxiety, self-harm and suicide we want and need to be that parent.
6. It de-shames and de-stigmatises. Us all.
7. Children get frightened by their own behaviour. A simple “I am here to mind you” lets us recognise behaviour as an unmet need rather than something awful.
8. If we are feeling surges of difficult emotions such as anger, shame, guilt “I am here to mind you” give us time to think, breathe, stop and make a helpful plan in our mind.
9. These words make us get down to the child’s level and hug and hold them. This calms, soothes and protects. Them and us.
10. Builds and nourishes an important helpful voice in us as parents. An anti-dote to the unhelpful one. Reaffirming and gently reminding that we can actually do this.