27 Aug What are we mirroring to our children?…and are we ok with it?
As we grow up we are a combination of two things, genetics and environment. As a child, both of these things are out of our control. As a parent we have an option to create an environment for our children that supports their brain, emotional, social and physical development. This is a core responsibility of being a parent and at my counselling and psychotherapy practice all parents really are trying their best.
A great place to start wondering if there are changes that could be made is to think about what we are mirroring to our children? When a difficult emotion arises within us (possibly a reaction to our children’s behaviour or words), how do we mirror to our children what is a helpful way to think and act in this type of situation? Anger and anxiety are often the emotions I work through with parents. Both are totally normal human emotions, designed to detect threat and danger. Both emotions are triggered very easily in body and mind when under stress i.e. a lot of the time in parenting! We can all learn, and practice, to think and behave in different ways. In doing so we model to our children how to manage and contain difficult emotions so they don’t run the show.
Our genes and environment might not be our fault, but we can learn to take responsibility for what we have with curiosity, wisdom about our brains and how they work, courage and kindness. To ourselves and others.